The List

A fun little Rom-Com I wrote a while back! Enjoy!

~~~ Speed dating is so desperate, she thought. But maybe I’m being too picky. She crossed “ambitious” off her list. 

The bell rang, and she looked up, staring with dismay into a maddeningly familiar face.

“Hey, Ellie Belly.”

“My name is Ellen.”

“Ellen is too formal. I’ve seen you naked.”

“We were three,” she snapped. “And what are you doing here anyway?”

“Heard you were husband hunting.” He shrugged.

Ugh. Chuck Fowler had been present at every humiliating episode of her life, including moving back in with her mom. Of course he was here.

“What’s this?” he asked, grabbing her list.

“Give that back!”

“You’re making ‘em take a test?”

“It’s not a test! Can’t you bother someone else?”

“Nope. We have eight more minutes. So test me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I know everything I need to know about you.”

His smile slipped. “Do you? How about this? My Ellie didn’t need lists. She lured strange pit bulls into her car with chicken nuggets and made bullies cry without breaking a sweat. She was so brave, and I was completely gone on her.” He paused, taking in her shocked expression. “Pretty sure you didn’t know that.”

“I don’t believe you,” she said, haltingly.

“It’s true,” he replied. “It’s always been true. I wish I was the list, El.”

The bell rang, and he rose, smiling nervously before he turned and walked away. 

Ellen sat at the table long after the last participants left. She stayed until the lights flickered and the janitor said, “Time to go, ma’am.”

She dropped the crumpled list in the trash on her way out and walked home slowly, his words turning over in her head. She slowed to a halt when she saw him sprawled on the porch next door, a couple of empty beer cans beside him.

“What’s up, Ellen?” he asked with the familiar crooked smile — somehow new in the fading light.

“Got another one of those?” she asked hesitantly, hovering near the edge of the porch.

He twisted a can free from the six-pack behind him, cracked it, and handed it to her.

She took a swig and said, “Make some room, Fowler.” 

“So bossy,” he smiled, patting the open space next to him.

“Apparently, some boys like that,” she replied. “Who knew?”